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NJSherry
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Re: ThE Austin Pit Crew ~ chapter 6
Happy Birthday to thE Raisnator!!!
--- I turn the radio up loud so I don't have to think...
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14/Sep/10, 1:25 pm
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Jukebox Grad
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Re: ThE Austin Pit Crew ~ chapter 6
Happy Birthday, Rais!!!
:gtr: :gtr:
and, though she doesn't come to this thread often,
Happy Birthday, Rocknroll Sue!!!
:gtr: :gtr:
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14/Sep/10, 3:02 pm
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brucetree
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Location: Konawa, OK, USA
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Re: ThE Austin Pit Crew ~ chapter 6
I'm ashamed to say I didn't notice 9/11 this year. I was still mourning 8/30/10, the day my world stopped spinning.
Thanks to Sherry for the daily text messages and Beth for the Facebook messages. And to all of you for your constant prayers.
Today I was really busy with Transition Institution, which is a conference of teachers, VR professionals, administrators, etc in the best interest of children with disabilities. However, David told me he had a really bad day; couldn't stop thinking of Josh all day. I know you are praying for us but please pray a little harder. It's only been 2 weeks; I know it's going to take a lifetime to get over it.
--- Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality
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15/Sep/10, 1:42 am
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clogg99
Filibuster
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Re: ThE Austin Pit Crew ~ chapter 6
to tree and dave...
grieving takes only 6 weeks?? maybe the first bit, but the hard times, the missing part, that starts AFTER those 6 weeks....
my grandma used to say it takes 7 years... (funny, cause a body renews it self in 7 years)
--- Something's open it's my heart
If something's missing it's when we're apart
If something's good it's when we're back together again
Nothing's wrong it's just insane
Nothing's right until you're back again.
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15/Sep/10, 7:55 am
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mayyourhope
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Re: ThE Austin Pit Crew ~ chapter 6
A friend in work lost her son, at a similar age, in a road accident earlier this year. She had lots of support from her family and friends, from work and from his friends. She was still visibly numb when she was able to make a return to work MONTHS later. You both have been trying to carry on after only a few days. I sincerely hope that you can... what? adjust? get through this? I don't know, but most of this will take a LOT more time and I wish you all the strength that you will need for that.
--- "Oh my God, it's Bruce Springsteen! Bruuuuce!
And then it's Nobel Peace guy." Ben Stiller
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15/Sep/10, 8:47 am
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Jukebox Grad
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Re: ThE Austin Pit Crew ~ chapter 6
I thought someone posted a link to this group right after Josh passed, but I can't find it here. I heard a wonderful radio storyabout this group called Compassionate Friends for parents who have lost a child. The couple in the story lost their sons in a car accident as the boys were driving home from college to visit their parents. The father talked about how skeptical he was of support groups, but he said they decided to go once and they kept going because it did help.
Just from my own experience, I was having a lot of trouble for a long time dealing with my parents' deaths. I finally went to a 6-week support group for parent loss last year and I don't know when or how it happened, but by the end I felt like a weight was lifted from me. Some of us talked about how it was just helpful to spend 2 hours every week just openly grieving with people who knew exactly how we felt. Otherwise it was hitting us at work or as we were tending to children. I was bursting into tears several times each month a year and two years after they passed, but I haven't done that since the group ended, It's a mystery how they work, but I think support groups are amazing.
Continued prayers, Tree and Dave.
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15/Sep/10, 8:14 pm
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kasagogo
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Location: Shaking away her city life
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Re: ThE Austin Pit Crew ~ chapter 6
My point exactly Jo....it's not a one off process. It will continue in various stages and dependent upon the severity, perhaps life-long.
In the initial trauma people come out of the woodworks to "support".
What is not so easy for the bereaved is that 6 months, 1 1/2 years, 3 years later etc., you and your circumstance will all but be forgotten as life moves on for others, whereas you may still be in a fog from time to time or just hitting the grieving stage.
There is no deadline ya know. And you cannot allow others to dictate that there should be just to ease their discomfort.
It's an interesting test of friendships.
I maybe hear from 3 people 6 months later after my 76 year old mother committed suicide.
Sure, she was old. Sure it was three years in the making and not sudden nor unexpected. Sure she declined any intervention.
Still, she's dead. And it did not have to be.
I applaud you Tree for being open to the anger.
I've been on both sides of the argument.
Many years ago, I was high risk suicidal. And I know the appeal of wishing to end the constant struggle and the immensity of the pain and wanting the dark cloud hanging over you in perpetuity to end. I get the attraction.
But I am pissed off to the enth degree that my mother was basically too gutless to take a risk and never made one freaking effort to be life affirming.
She was a quitter and she had no courage.
And on that note, I am happy to be the polar opposite of her.
Tree, if you ever want to write or call or ask questions from someone who has a similar story, feel free to contact me.
I don't have the answers for you. I never have the answers for anyone other than myself. And sometimes not even that. LOL!
But, rest assured, 3 years, 5 years down the road I'll still be open to hearing what you have to say.
Not that I wish you to suffer that long. But realistically, this will always impact you to some degree.
All my love and I apologize if my directness has made anyone uncomfortable but so be it.
Kasa/Kathleen
--- "Ah, so shake it away
So shake away your street life"
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15/Sep/10, 8:44 pm
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