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jillanddavy
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Re: Silly Joke
Good one Penny!! :rofl:
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10/Sep/07, 1:49 pm
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MaccBruce
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Re: Silly Joke
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mum, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would," she replies.
He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million quid, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."
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12/Sep/07, 9:31 am
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kittykat1
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Re: Silly Joke
quote: MaccBruce wrote:
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mum, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would," she replies.
He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million quid, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."
LoL!! Good one!
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18/Sep/07, 2:43 am
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kittykat1
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Re: Silly Joke
Inner Peace:
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and never finished." So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off 23 Bud Lights, a bottle of Absolute, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
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18/Sep/07, 2:47 am
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Irish Kathy
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Re: Silly Joke
LOLOL
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18/Sep/07, 10:57 am
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MaccBruce
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Re: Silly Joke
Good one Steph!
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19/Sep/07, 9:20 am
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MaccBruce
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Re: Silly Joke
THE WORLD'S BEST BAR
The first says: "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The second then starts: "That sounds like a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one called Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Then the third pipes up. "You think that's good? Where I come from, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That sounds fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?" "No," replies their friend, "but it happened to my sister!"
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19/Sep/07, 9:27 am
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jillanddavy
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Re: Silly Joke
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19/Sep/07, 11:11 am
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kittykat1
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Re: Silly Joke
A koala is sitting up a gum tree ...
smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past
and looks up and says, "Hey Koala!
What are you doing?"
The koala says: "Smoking a
joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbs up and sits
next to the koala and they burn a few.
After a while the little lizard says his
mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a
drink from the river. But the little lizard
is so stoned that he leans too far
over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this and swims over
to the little lizard and helps him to
the side, then asks the little lizard:
"What's the matter with you?"
The little lizard explains to the crocodile
that he was sitting smoking a joint with
the koala in the tree, got too stoned and
then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this
out and walks into the rain forest, finds
the tree where the koala is sitting finishing
a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"
So the koala looks down at him and says:
"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude how
much water did you drink?!!"
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20/Sep/07, 3:34 pm
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dwnbndtrn
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Re: Silly Joke
This is one of my favorite jokes one of the kids told me:
Have you seen the movie "Constipated" yet?
No you say?
That's because it hasn't come out yet!
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20/Sep/07, 5:09 pm
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